HOLY. SEVEN. HELLS.

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I know I missed a lot of what just happened in that trailer and I know I can’t make sense of most of it, but what I do know is there are dragons, there is fire and there is snow.

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But still….NO EFFING GENDRY.

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I can’t even begin to tell you how angry this makes me, at this point the writers are just being cruel.  We know you are hiding him somewhere, he can’t live on that boat forever!

Other than that, this trailer was lit.  Do I hate myself for saying lit? Yes.  Does it work when describing Game of Thrones?

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First, we start with Sansa walking through the snow (so Winter might actually be here) with Petyr Baelish’s voice in the background, talking about not fighting the North or the South, but every battle, everywhere.  Even the battle in your mind….

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You mean the battle you’ve created in Sansa’s mind you ass hat? The one against her brother/cousin?  The one she had when you gave her to that lunatic, Ramsey? What battle has Sansa faced in her mind that wasn’t because of you?

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Seriously, the Stark’s are idiots when it comes to Petyr-who-cant-even-spell-his-name-right-Little-Finger.

Arya looks to have gotten herself a horse, which would mark the first time in probably three seasons that she hasn’t had to walk the entire season on foot.  Hopefully this can speed up her killing spree and get through her hit list a little bit quicker.

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It also looks like Bran has gotten himself a wheelchair, which is good considering he killed Hodor who had been kind enough to pull his wagon around for the entire series. Now, maybe Bran can get back to what he’s supposed to be doing aka being the Three Eyed Raven and SEEING THE PAST.

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We get brief glimpses of the Hound,  Jamie storming through the castle, Jamie roaring, Cersei doing nothing, Grey Worm and his gf kissing, Yara and Theon wetting their pants, Breanna of Tarth looking badass, Danny with some new braids and lots of dragons.  There was much more than that, but I can only do so much.  If you wanted more, you should have watched it yourself.

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There is a voice over from Jon Snow referring to the big houses having to fight together to defeat their common enemy once again, but I can’t imagine what house that would be because Jonny is a Stark and a Targaryen and they weren’t known to be friends and all his other buddies are dead.

Maybe the most disturbing part of all of this (besides damn Gendry) is Sansa’s closing line….”the loan wolf dies, but the pack survives.”

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WHAT DO YOU MEAN???

So many theories here and I’d like to thank my friends at Reddit for thinking of 99% of them.  My one and only thought was that Little Finger got into Sansa’s head and she’s going to sacrifice Jon Snow for the greater good of ABSOLUTELY NO ONE BUT LITTLE FINGER.  I’m sure even Cersei would like to see Jon’s pretty face one day.

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Jon Snow is a Stark, a Targaryen, a wildling lover, a Northern, the possible father or brother of dragons, a brother of the Night’s Watch, the White Wolf, Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, ex Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, the resurrected one, killer of Whitewalkers, King of the North and probably a lot of other things that I can’t remember because that’s how important he is to this story line, SANSA.

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Sorry, got a bit carried away there.

Other theories include Sansa referring to Ned as the lone wolf who died (maybe?), Arya who is alone right now and Bran who is pretty much alone right now because he can’t be trusted to do anything right.  Bran has been worthless so you can take him, Arya really deserves to see one family member before she dies so that leaves Sansa who has had her fair share of hardships through all of this and deserves to not have all of her hopes and dreams ruined.

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Seriously, just kill Bran. Most of this is his fault anyway.

So much in one trailer and so little time.  Where will these new, totally hypothetical, story lines take us?

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I meant take us in the theoretical sense, not the literally sense.  And I think these fools should go off clearer instructions than “to the left”, Bey.  Start putting the Stark’s in your prayers at night, they’re going to need it.

 

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