If you were hoping to glean something from the Real Housewives of Orange County trailer, you are going to be disappointed.

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If you were hoping to be entertained by it, congrats, it’s done it’s job.

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No.

The intro is just a tranquil shot of the beaches of Orange County, lovely and peaceful. It is ruined by voices from above, sound bites from all the fights last season, 90% of it bleeped out. Bravo to whoever made that montage.

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Then we get to the women. We get a “whoop whoop” from Vicki…

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Lydia is back and seems as ditsy as ever.

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We meet a new lady, Peggy, who looks to have gone to the same plastic surgeon as Kelly and her age is in the range of 45 to 70.

Then it’s Meghan and baby Aspen! Meghan is struggling to be a mom so instead of saying “sperm” all season, I’m guessing we’ll hear “it’s hard” (in the non sexual way) combined with some tears most of the season. That’s fine, Meghan, I’m sure being a mom is not easy.

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You do you, boo boo.

Then it’s Shannon’s turn, and tells us “all she wants to do is eat” and shows us that she has let herself go due to stress from Vicki. While I don’t think we can blame it all on Vicki, we will not blame any of it on Shannon. We are here for you, Shannon, and you will be a voice for all of us who are eating our feelings and can’t get motivated.

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Preach, sista.

Things we’ve seen/heard before that are being repeated: Eddie is gay, Kelly questioning someone’s parenting, Lydia praying, someone is on a stretcher, Shannon’s sparkly green Saint Patrick’s Day top.

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These women love St. Paddy’s, and as someone who works in the bar industry it makes me despise them all.

This years trip is to Iceland! No one seems to want to put on a bikini and they have decided to go somewhere that matches their souls…at least Vicki and Kelly’s souls.

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As for the injured person, we can’t tell who it is, but there is enough praying happening to let me know they are definitely dramatizing it. TMZ did not report an injury this season, ladies, you ain’t fooling me.

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The problem child seems to once again be Kelly, with a side of Vicki. Kelly loves a low blow and threatens to “drop bombs”. Can’t wait to hear what she finds out about the value on Peggy’s home or what nasty thing she says and then completely backtracks on.

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Snaps for the newbie who is heard screaming in one scene, let’s see if you can survive.

Side Note: they dress as white trash, rock and roll bikers at one point, it’s disturbing.

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