In the least shocking revelation ever, celebrities don’t care about anything but themselves.  And while that’s really just the norm, I think this time it might stop some people from being invited back.

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Tell me, oh-so-exclusive-ones, CAN YOU NOT READ? Did Anna not relay the theme to each of you? What the hell happened?

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People actually taking the theme to heart were scarce at this years Met Gala.  I get it, I can’t pronounce the theme either, but the guest of honor is a living person so you’d think you all would try and be respectful and actually try.  I guess I’ve learned my lesson.

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While few listened to the rules, it seems a few people banned together to create themes of there own.  And while we shouldn’t reward these fools by talking about them, we should scold them for their failure to follow directions.

Bitch Stole My Look

Seriously, I’m not sure if it was people phoning it in or they just have short term memory and don’t remember that they’ve worn these outfits before. This year, instead of just being inspired by (stealing) looks from others, they are robbing from themselves.

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Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyn, Gwyn, Gwyn.  Always beautiful, Gwyneth returned to the Met Gala after being absent (disinvited) for four years after saying it was boring.  Mrs. Wintour has only allowed her back into her good graces because they are starting a magazine together, but she might rethink that after seeing what Gwyn wore this year.  Lovely? Of course.  On theme? Hardly.  And let’s not forget that she has worn this dress and moved around the sleeves several times before.

We get it, you look good in pink.  You probably look good in a lot of other colors too considering you 6 foot and a blonde and statuesque.  What’s your argument here?

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Julia, Gwyn, whatever, the gif works, moving on.

Kylie Jenner

Will she make my best dressed list? Quit possibly.  Did her look also look a bit similar to a few of Beyoncé’s past looks? Yes, it did.

That being said, Kylie was probs one of the best dressed and def best dressed of the KarJenner clan.

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Kendall Jenner

Kendall’s body is the stuff dreams are made of, I am not going to deny that.  So yes, she should wear a sheer dress and show off that body.  But that behind shot of that behind seems vaguely familiar, probably because I cant get it out of my mind no matter what I do.

But after being reminded of it last night, it begs the question….is Madonna’s butt better?

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Dazed and Confused

I have to assume the below ladies just didn’t know there was a theme or said fuck it.  To say they looked out of place is the understatement of the year.

Kerry Washington

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I love Kerry but the girl must have gotten last years invite.  She was more punk then half of the guests last year.  Michael Kors failed you Kerry.  You should have taken advice from Olivia Pope, coats were on theme for this Met and we know she does a mean coat.

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Decidedly not handled.

Solange Knowles

I have no idea what is happening here.  She’s got ice skates on her feet, a coat that resembles (and possibly is) a sleeping bag.  Girl possibly lost her mind, but at least Jay isn’t around to really set her off….

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Sorry, didn’t mean to mention him.  You look great girl, keep up with good work….

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Madonna

Dear lord.  Just when I think this woman has lost the last grip on reality she has, she challenges me once again.  I’m not sure what she thought the theme was, but I do not think it was Cadet Kelly meets…well meets Madonna.  It’s so signature Madonna that we we should forgive it…but we wont.

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Kim Kardashian

Kim missed the mark completely, she didn’t even try and hit a mark at all it seems. Kim is into the off the shoulder looks right now, probably to emphasize that she has now jewelry on.

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We get it, you are totally simple now and the more understate of your sisters…. While some may consider this look understated and minimalist, it falls under my most worst dressed of the night, a) because Kim is not understate and b) neither is the theme.  It feels like without Kanye to match with or choose her looks, Kim is a lost soul in the fashion world.

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You said it, Kim.

Jaden Smith

There is not much to say about Jaden.  Nothing except the fact that he brought his own hair as his date.

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If this isn’t a cry for help, then I don’t know what is. Also, is that a grill or did he give himself rotted teeth to give himself the full appearance of a deranged homeless man?

Prom Queen Nominees

The following ladies stuck with the tried and true and for any other carpet that would be perfectly fine, but here it just shows how boring they really are.  Basic AF,

Seriously, even J. Lo couldn’t give us a moment?  I guess A. Rod was her moment, but these women look like they want a tiara, not the cover of Vogue.  Those ladies who wore pastels, what were you thinking?  That Spring was in the air and pastels felt inspiring?

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Worst of the Worst

And here you probably thought I was done hating on people.  I still have yet to nominate….

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Oh no, sweetie….no, that’s done now. This is for the worst dressed of the Met Gala.  You can go back to whatever you were doing.

While I have preached about people missing the mark and not dressing for the theme, there was one person who dressed for the theme and for herself and as ridiculous as I predicted she’d be.

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Katy effing Perry.

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It’s true.  I said Katy would use this platform to pretend to be fashionable, but really just to be weird.  At least this look was sort of on theme, but she made a point to act and walk weird and I cannot ignore that kind of behavior.  And as if it wasn’t bad enough, she decided to wear this to the after parties.

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Yes, you have won the Worst Dressed award, Katy.  Wear your crown proudly, I’m sure you don’t care at all and actually would enjoy the fact that I have named you Worst Dressed, if you actually read this blog.

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Honorable Mention goes out to Pharrell and his wife who arrived first and therefore I forgot about them until now.  Pharrell wore what he usually does and his wife went hardcore with the theme and looks comfy enough to sleep on so it’s okay.

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Odd, but nothing on Perry.

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