For a season that left us slightly underwhelmed and hoping for the words Munchhausen again, the reunion has remind us why this show is so amazing and demented.
In Part 2 of the reunion, we jump in right where we left off, with Erika shutting PK and Dorito down. Currently, we are discussing PK’s joke about Erika’s “bits” being for sale and how that joke, along with every other joke PK has tried with his British humor, didn’t land.
Dorito is still trying to defend PK and she should know by now that doesn’t work. Watch the show, if all the wives think your husband is a piece of shit then you need to also think that and apologize on his behalf. Defending a mans stupidity never works.
After a little more screaming across the couches, Kyle intervenes and says that the reason Erika was so upset was because the joke was about her, but she wasn’t included in the joke.
Andy then refers to when Kyle said “this could go really badly” and ask Kyle why she thought that, but before she can speak Lisa Vanderpump is speaking for her. For once though, Kyle is not having it and asked her to stop trying to be Andy Cohen and let her answer her own question.
We then circle back to PK being an ass and saying he wont apologize to Mr. Girardi because Mr. Girardi does not deserve an apology. Andy reminds us that PK insinuated a lot about Erika’s marriage as well as her va-jay-jay and we get to see an unseen clip where PK says that Erika has “deep-rooted problems in her marriage”.
No one talks about Mr. Girardi.
And still no apology PK? Of course not, he still doesn’t feel bad for what he said, but also doesn’t remember saying anything about her marriage….WHAT IS IT WITH THESE PEOPLE AND MEMORY LOSS?
Lisa Rinna, being the Queen of I Can’t Remember, jumps on PK’s memory loss like it’s the last life boat on the titanic. Lisa, PK not remembering will not save you, you have a lot coming your way. Wait your turn.
Andy does reel Lisa back and let’s her know we will get to all of her drama, but she’s still going to hijack this convo from Erika. She wants to know why PK insinuated she was insane. I am not defending PK here, but maybe he said it because you are actually insane?
Regardless, this isn’t your fight lady. It doesn’t matter though because Andy has lost control and Lisa is on to the cocaine accusation and saying she felt that she needed to ask the question, but also they were attacking her so she needed to fight back.
I’m sorry, but which is it? You made it up of you really thought they were doing cocaine? She admits she had a lovely time at the party and PK says he has never done cocaine in his life, which I can kind of believe. After all, he’s not the one drinking vodka Redbulls as an afternoon snack.
We tell PK goodbye and thank him for being a whipping post for these women. Before he goes, Erika says he needs to get off the stage, he calls her mean, and Erika loses it once again and we go in circles for a few more minutes with PK telling us he’s had a hard time with what was a joke and that Lisa Rinna and Eileen event jumped on board too. I expect them now to jump up and perform a musical number for my entertainment.
I mean, is it not obvious? Lisa, Eileen and Erika could do the remake. Sadly, they did not perform at the reunion though.
Andy then gives us a clip of how all of the women say hello in LA. It really doesn’t show us anything new, just allows the women to agree that they are fake AF in LA. Lisa Rinna even says that she tries to keep it together when she’s got a problem with someone so as not to ruin the party.
I would have put money on the fact that all these women want is to ruin the party with their drama.
We then get a clip of all the women and their many careers. All Andy says is Kyle’s job and that the other women work too, but let’s not forget that Eileen is a successful actress, Lisa is a QVC wizard, and Kyle is a producer/director who doesn’t know what it’s like to work until 5pm.
And then Dorito goes from Milan to Paris to London to Milan (read that in one her accents if you can) and has many different businesses. Thank goodness for Andy because he asks her what what those businesses and we finally get a little more information. She says she was a designer for a swimsuit line, but put that on the back burner to help her husband with his business. I swear to god if she brings up Boy George again I will throw the TV.
Luckily she doesn’t. Eileen and Rinna admit that they have looked online at Dorito’s swimsuits and think she is really talented. I’m going to assume they were originally looking so they could make fun of her and then had to change their story, but everyone thinks she has talent it seems, making this the fakest conversation ever after the just ripped her apart 10 minutes ago.
Also, I question anyone who says Dorit has talent and taste while she is wearing that dress.
Now it’s time to bring out Kim Richards and Eden who are technically both “friends of the housewives” but Kim manages to be a main character every damn season.
It’s time for our montage about Eden and I cannot watch it. I know what it’ll be about and it’s too awkward for me.
I am sure she is a nice and lovely and spiritual person who just wants to help, but everyone knows that nonsense has no place on this show.
Eden get’s about three minutes worth of air time while we watch Kyle explain why her hugs are creepy (as if that needs to be explained) and then it’s on to Kim Richards. I have to be honest, I don’t know if she and Kyle both had work done before the show because she has an evil smirk on her face through the entire episode. I am hoping it’s plastic surgery, but we come to find out she’s just evil.
Lisa Rinna is finally in the hot seat and Andy asks why she said what she did. Kim chimes in to help Rinna out saying “she doesn’t remember!”
Point one for Kim.
Rinna says she is sorry, we’ve seen it all before and then Kim accepts her apology. I am stunned for two reasons. First, that was the fastest fight these two have had in the history of this show. Two, I know there is a bunny lurking somewhere and them apologizing feels like a one step forward, 20 steps back scenario is about to unfold.
Side note: where the hell is Eileen? I know Eden is usually the one missing but this woman hasn’t said a word in 20 minutes.
The ladies agree to move forward and then Andy asks Kim if she gave the bunny Rinna gifted her to her grandson.
I am saying it now, there is zero doubt in my mind that Andy knows that the bunny is hiding behind the sofa. He placed that comment so perfectly, that man knows shit’s about to hit the fan and wants to help spill the tea.
Kim has been waiting for this question all night and reveals the devious bunny to return back to Lisa. She says the bunny was not given to her when they were on good terms and therefore has bad juju. I get it, she doesn’t want to give it to her kid, but why give it back at the reunion?
Luckily, Eileen finds her voice and makes that same remark, letting us all know that they are aware Kim is shady.
Kim hands the bunny to Rinna and Rinna proceeds to silently weep. I have to say this is equally as confusing for me because isn’t this what Rinna wanted all along? For Kim to show her true colors? Lisa crying over the bunny is about as calculated as Kim giving the bunny back.
Then the Soap Opera star decides she must leave the stage to compose herself. She ditches the poor bunny on a camera mans cart of shit and marches through the crew watching from afar and goes to her dressing room.
Let’s just make one thing clear, if it isn’t already: ANDY IS NOT STUPID. You are not the first housewife to walk off, it isn’t even your first time! There are cameras EVERYWHERE and none of this will be left out…and I think you know that Lisa.
The other soap star has suddenly found her voice it seems and has gone to check on Lisa. I think Eileen is probably a nice person but the only thing she adds to this show is a Gretchen Wierers complex, she is so obsessed with Lisa.
Back on the coaches, Erika, who has always had a soft spot for Kim, is agreeing that the bunny wasn’t given with good intentions, but her delivery now didn’t work either. Andy is worried that he asked the wrong question after everyone was at peace.
You knew what you were doing sir.
Kyle encourage Kimberly to explain that she is a very superstitious person so Rinna understands.
The child star then goes off to retrieve the demented bunny and chase Lisa down. Little does she know that Eileen is filming Rocky 5 and giving Rinna the pep talk to end all pep talks.
Once Rinna and Kim do find each other in the never ending hallway, Kim asks if she can talk to Lisa. Lisa says no.
This is where we end. With two actresses getting paid more than my entire family combined to play hot potato with a stuffed bunny.
Hopefully the bunny has been burned by now, we will find out next week!