We are less than a week away from the new season of Real Housewives of New York and I am beyond excited.

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While we have to assume that we are going to hear a lot about Luann’s fiance Tom who no one cares about, I am still excited for another season of my favorite housewives.  Yes, I said it, they are my favorite.

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To give us a taste of the season to come, Bravo has released this season’s taglines and I have to say that some stood out more than others.  And not always for the best reason….let’s dissect.

7. Tinsley: “A good set of lashes can fix anything…even a mugshot.”

Woah.  Fairly aggressive.  I mean, for those of us who have done our research, we are well aware of her history with a mugshot.  Since we haven’t seen a promo yet involving her love of eye lashes, not sure what that’s about, but because she’s new, she falls to the back of the list.  Having a mugshot wont make you famous.  Andy, couldn’t you help her come up with something a little better?

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6. Carole: “In the politics of friendship, I win the popular vote.”

If Tinsley wasn’t here, you’d be in last place Carole.  We get it, you voted for Hilary and love Hilary and are sad about Hilary.  New York is going to be a season dedicated to the political drama that we already lived through and don’t need to repeat.  Even Bethenny gets tired of Carole’s political ramblings this season, adding it to your tagline is just too aggressive.

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We know you don’t.

5. Luann: “The only title I’d trade Countess for…is Wife.”

Gag me.  I called this before the season even started, Luann is going to shove Tom down our throats.  Am I excited to see this wedding, sure.  Would I like slutty Luann to come back, duh.  I will give credit where credit is due and say that, even though she is losing her title, she is still making sure that we don’t forget that she was the Countess.  It’ll be apart of her tag line until the end of time.

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4. Dorinda: “I tell it like it is, but I always make it nice.”

Eh, not very original, Doris.  Most ladies like to pick up on something that they said the previous season that everyone loved and then beat it like a dead horse and use it as their slogan.  This is one of those moments, I expected more Dorinda.

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No, you didn’t.

 

3. Bethenny: “If you’re going to take a shot at this B, you better not miss.”

Bethenny has usually been one of my favorite tag line creators, but this season is meh.  Not bad, not great.  I think Bethenny thinks that everyone is out to get her, which I would too if people were creating companies called Tipsy Girl, but are people taking shots at her?  In all honest, I feel like she takes the most shots, brilliant shots and definitely on target, but def the most trigger happy.

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2. Sonja: “There’s nothing grey about my gardens.”

Again, someone who is beating a dead horse.  For those who don’t remember, Andy loved making a spoof out of all the people living in Sonja’s house on WWHL in homage to Grey Gardens.  Sonja beats Bethenny though because this just seems very Sonja.  And because I bet Sonja thinks this is funnier than it is and I love her for being so oblivious to the world around her.

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Case and point.  My real hope is that an intern came up with this, which is why it comes in second place.

1. Ramona: “I’m an acquired taste. If you don’t like me, acquire some taste!”

That’s right, the queen is here. By far the best tagline of the year, don’t care what anyone says.  Ramona usually isn’t that amazing, gives me a chuckle and I move on.  But whoever thought this up, you better be getting a raise.  TAGLINE GOLD.

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