There are a few things that stand out from my childhood.  Disney princess, hair bows, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, just to name a few.  But one of the most devastating and most poignant things that stands out, that I still have to remind myself of, is the lies of Lindsay Lohan.


I remember finally being told that there was only one Lindsay.  That her twin in Parent Trap wasn’t real and they used a green screen.  Did I believe for years that I had a missing twin too? Yes. Did I think this was dark magic that made us believe that there were redheaded twins? Possibly.  But what I knew for sure was that when I found out there was no Hallie and Annie, just Lindsay….I knew this was the beginning of her downward spiral.

giphy (1).gif

So when the drinking started, and the weird comments and the lesbian phase, I saw it coming.  Not specifics, I’m not a psychic, but I knew she would never come back from those early deceptions.  And maybe someone forced her, but it still was too late for her.  Especially with those parents.

So when news surfaced this week that Lindsay had converted to Islam, I really wasn’t shocked.  Isn’t that a little sad?  She’s done so much in her short life, I don’t even notice something significant like drastically changing your religion.  She seems to have deleted all of her Instagrams (wasteful) and made her profile picture a quote in Arabic.

giphy (3).gif

No Lindsay, not Jambo. This has happened before, Lindsay’s Arabic instas.  The last one she intended to say “you’re beautiful” but instead said “you’re a donkey”.

giphy (4).gif

And while many people do think she is converting to Islam, Momma Lohan (who is completely certifiable in her own right) has informed us that Lindsay just likes to learn about different cultures and immerse herself in them.  Is that the same as when she immersed herself into a new accent?

giphy (2).gif

Kind of.  Regardless, this slipper slope that is Lindsay Lohan has just taken another interesting turn that no one saw coming, but everyone expected.  Good luck to you Lindsay, I hope you find yourself, whoever that self may be.  And if you don’t find her I at least hope you find Hallie…or Annie.


I’m putting money on she’s Hallie….Annie never had to fake an accent.